This morning I went to the provincial park lodge for random measurement stuff. It was annoyingly rainy and filled with other humans. I tried finding a place to hide, but people were everywhere. Someone stank up the entire restroom area. There was basically the Australian version of Izzy's parents in the game room. Too many waitresses ran around. People were all over the lounge. Nowhere to go here.
My mom was meeting up with a lady named Anita for business stuff, so I could explore freely... but I wasn't feeling adventurous. They went outside to the spa, with a hot tub area and balcony inside a cage thing.
As Mom measured the spa with lasers (it sounds weirder than it actually is) I noticed the spa rules, posted by the shower.
Yep, correct. That first one says, "No person is permitted to use the spa without first having taken a warm water shower with soap."
A WARM WATER SHOWER WITH SOAP.
Mom and Anita went inside the spa to measure stuff (WITHOUT TAKING THE SHOWER FIRST) and I took in the view of grass, humans, and mountains from the balcony. I peeked inside the glass door and pointed out that if a serial killer was in the spa, the police would have to take the warm water shower with soap before entering, and by the time all seven of them had finished their shower all the patrons would be dead anyway.
Anita insisted there were no serial killers at the lodge. Then she went back to measuring.
I huffed and exited the cage, then went inside the lodge. A waitress suddenly leaned in front of me and smiled so hard I couldn't believe she was still alive. She oohed-and-aahed for a minute. And then she was like, "HELLO. WOULD YOU LIKE A HOT CHOCOLATE? PLEASE ALLOW THE LODGE TO MAKE YOU A HOT CHOCOLATE BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU TO THE SUN AND BACK." (I'm kind of paraphrasing, but that's how it was.)
I was like, "No, the world would kill me. I'm not a guest." But she wouldn't listen. So I ran away. I could hear her saying about how "adorable" I was to the other waitresses, as if I were a child.
So I went to look at coats.
I observed the logos embroidered onto the sleeves (which all looked the same, but it was cool.) There were knitted and raincoat variants, of different and subtle colours, with well-hidden zip-up pockets for convenience and zero thieves. I looked at the simple green raincoat and the emerald green with a bright blue interior. I looked at the coats for a while, probably hours, walking along and observing each and every variant. It magically deterred the waitresses, chefs and humans around me until I was at a sense of peace, blending in to the lodge's morning chaos.
I wanted to buy one and put it over my bright, striped coat that drew me too much attention. Just blend in further. But I didn't bring my cash, and they were probably deadly expensive.
I looked at the old-fashioned Singer sewing machine. And then another waitress emerged and asked me if I would like a hot chocolate.
I said no.
She asked me again.
I said no.
She smiled and wiggled. Then she left.
I looked at the coats for another hour. Then, a man emerged--the same man who had shook hands with Mom but knelt down and spoke in a high pitched voice to me when I had introduced myself. He asked me if I wanted a hot chocolate.
I huffed and said that I did not want one, that I wasn't there to drink hot chocolate. I was there to hide from humans.
He nodded.
"In that I'm not trying to imply that I'm not human," I pointed out.
"You are a human," he smiled, giggling.
"I'm probably a vampire."
"Then I'll make you a vampire hot chocolate!" Before I could refuse again, he walked away. Also, would a "vampire hot chocolate" have blood in it or something? I went into the game room and hid behind the quality leather sofa to hide from the hot chocolate man.
My mom walked in and told me that the staff really wanted to give me a hot chocolate. I refused. Mom said the hot chocolate man was probably already making it.
---
Aside from all that, I have a cool picture of the hot tub:
No comments:
Post a Comment