NOTICE: You might see little "[" throughout the post. This is where I will soon post images when I can get at them. Thank you for your understanding.
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This morning, I went for a walk by the bridge with the dog. With all the rain lately, all the creeks in the valley are super high, and so I couldn't go for a swim. Besides, who swims in November? Selkies and cowselkies, apparently.
I let the dog, Cleo, out of the truck. She had to be on a leash because this is the highway, infested with firewood and American mushroom pickers who think they know everything about mushrooms when they actually don't. (No offence, America.)
My mom decided to come, too, so that's what happened.
Not too long down the road, though, we began to notice the American mushroom pickers were leaving their stuff on the side of the road.
ME: Is that a deflated moose head?
ME: No, seriously. Is that a deflated moose head?
MOM: *turns it over* is... is that a mitten?!
ME: Oh yeah, that is a mitten. Never mind what I said about deflated moose heads.
MOM: This is pretty high quality. It looks like seal skin.
ME: Huh. Maybe a selkie dropped it.
MOM: Actually, it's probably cow skin.
ME: Seriously? Well, maybe a cowselkie dropped it.
MOM: Nope.
We walked along the road more and also found this small, yellow, bear bell.
Mom then threw the bell and the cowselkie mitten into the back of the truck for later, so we could take pictures. The dog really wanted to sniff the cowselkie mitten because she probably thought it was a small, roasted turkey, but we didn't let her because the cowselkie probably had the flu. Or the plague. Or charley horse. And y'all know that we don't want her to get sick. But saying, "I got sick from a plague-covered charley horse cowselkie mitten" probably isn't going to get you anywhere in the ER. Just a warning, people.
There's this DMS (Dynamic Message Sign) that they put up near the bridge recently, and it has a little humming power station and all. There's also jersey barriers you can walk along underneath the DMS. But they also put a reflector right in the middle of your path if you're walking on the barriers, which I recognize as a design fail.
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Like, I had to go around it by leaning to the side, grabbing onto it, and swinging my body onto the other side. In fact, it was so disruptive, Cleo (our dog) decided to just get off the jersey barrier entirely.
We turned back at the cow sign. (I can assure you, it's there solely because of the cowselkie.) After we got back to the truck, we had walked two miles.
My legs were tingling, and I was wondering if my blood had started to crystallize yet.
UPDATE: Two pictures of the mitten were put on Facebook, and turns out, it's not owned by a cowselkie at all. It was owned by a man named David. We went to his house and hung the mitten on his doorknob with the other mitten. And then the world lived happily ever after. THE END.
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