it was so bad.

 If you saw my previous post, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, feel free to take a look. 

Anyway, I went out to the party. I arrived super early, and my friend wasn't at her house yet, so I had to wait in an idling vehicle for, like, an hour. I probably looked extremely suspicious, but in reality I was just listening to The Beatles and eating corn chips while being completely aware that I probably looked totally suspicious. 

My friend finally came, and we went into the house together and watched a few episodes of Seinfeld. The party was scheduled at 1pm, but only two other people arrived, and they were ninety minutes late. The others didn't even come, even though they were all showered with obvious invites. 

Alright, I'm going to change some names here. We'll call my friend Izzy, and the other two girls Ariel and Ellen. So Ariel had brought so much makeup, and Ellen brought a tiny bit too. But Ariel overdid it. She brought fifteen brushes of different sizes, ten lip glosses, eyeliner, blush, foundation, these little things that looked like pencils. Basically, she brought an entire backpack full of every type of makeup you can imagine. 

I've never been the kind of girl who wears makeup. Fine, maybe once in a while I wear mascara or blush, but I feel like it's just a waste of time. And if there is a god, I don't think he created faces so they could be slathered in glitter and creams. 

And Izzy, who would NEVER, and I mean NEVER, wear makeup, WORE MAKEUP. Holy honking crap, she put on like ten layers of glittery eyeshadow, and this wet lipstick that I tried and it sucks. 

They were in the bathroom trying on makeup for TWO HONKING HOURS, and I occupied myself by throwing balloons into the basement. I decided I got tired of looking at red balloons, so I rounded up all the red balloons and dumped them into the basement. Then I settled on eliminating the blues, so down to the basement those went too. 

Izzy crazy brother was in his bedroom, and the honking door was off its hinges. A few layers of it were also peeled off. I'm serious, y'all. I bet if you rammed into it hard enough, it would fall outta its frame. 

And at one point, the Makeup Girls exited the bathroom to rate on a scale of 1 to 10 about how pretty they were, we all noticed quite a bit of blood on the broken door. It wasn't like the blood sprays in the X-Files, but there were two generous drops just slowly dripping down the door. Ariel joked that maybe Izzy's brother had his period, but I feel like it might have been fake blood, so the Makeup Girls just went back into the bathroom to try out the pencil thingies, which turned out to be eyeliner. I can't tell if school supplies are becoming makeup or vice versa. 

The door came off its second hinge. 

I dropped the yellows into the basement because they were sickening to look at. 

The Makeup Girls were swearing and laughing. 

The door came off its last hinge and I'm surprised it didn't fall over. You could see into the dark room. A fake gun slowly slid out from where the hinges should have been and was almost pointing at me. It seemed large and scary, so I slid into Izzy's room, where the rest of the girls were sitting on the bed and laughing about inappropriate things. 

Ellen was being weird, Ariel was being sassy, Izzy sat there with content. We all took a flashlight and went outside into the woods. 

The other girls were singing songs I didn't know the lyrics to. 

Ellen threw a red balloon into the creek by mistake. Good. I was tired of looking at balloons of any type at this point. Although I wondered what Izzy's brother was up to in his bedroom, it was probably just dumb guy stuff, and I didn't really care. 

When we got inside, we went up to Izzy's room, and everyone started teaming up on me and gossiping about me behind my back, and even bringing up long-faded rumours about me, which weren't true at all. 

Finally, I drove home, and writing in this blog entry was like therapy. It was also probably the longest one ever, wow.